Good Days and Bad Days

Mother’s Day is one of the most celebrated days of the year for the simple reason that no one got here without a mother. Nevertheless, it’s a difficult day for many. There was a time in our own life when it represented a very painful day.  Before we fell pregnant with Wendell, we lived through miscarriage, infertility and IVF. At church, it sometimes seemed as if it was the “real” women who were honoured, while the infertile women (and their husbands) grieved in the shadows. Not only is it a hard day on those who are infertile, but also for those who have lost a child, or are alienated from one. When we are experiencing a prodigal child, it’s extremely painful to sit in a service and hear the virtues of motherhood extolled when we may feel like we have failed God in our parenting.   The key to all of this is grace. Through God’s church, we minister to each other during the good days and the hard days, and so whether you’re celebrating or suffering this year, I pray God’s grace for you. I pray you will be strengthened in the grace that strengthens and is strengthening all of us: “And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10).

Here’s a beautiful prayer I read on the internet this week:   

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you  

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you  

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away – we mourn with you  

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with tears and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say thoughtless things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.  

To those who are foster mums, mentor mums, and spiritual mums – we need you   To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you  

To those who have disappointment, heartache, and distance with your children – we sit with you  

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you  

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience  

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst  

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be  

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths  

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren – yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you  

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you  

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you.  

We pray these things to you as our Father, who loved us before the world began, and will love us forevermore.  

In Jesus’ name,   Amen.

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